9 months have passed

I have been battling w depression...I am now back and have found part of my lost self...it is amazing how you can lose part of yourself and not even realize it until it is already long gone done the rabbit hole.

I am going to try to post at least once a week on this blog. I know I don't have any following but maybe this will help just one person

Cough cough hack hack up comes a lung

Cold...flu...bronchitis... Or death?!

I'm not sure but I'm hoping I get better soon...like four days ago.

Semicolon tattoo

i have been thinking for months maybe even a year about getting a semicolon tattoo.

Even my friends have been looking at these tattoos for me as well...just for general ideas. 

My husband on the other hand doesn't want me to get something I will regret.... But I know I won't. 

I suffer from depression, and anxiety issues. My husband thinks that this is something that should be able to "get over" but never tells me how to get over anything. 

It is hard. Any thoughts. 

Down 3#...doesn't sound like much

3# of weight loss... I know doesn't sound like much but it is a start. A small one but it is there beginning.

I am walking during lunch... Only a mile during my break...I am only able to do a mile in twenty-two minutes.

I know a slow pase but better than nothing.

Didn't walk today... Was afraid of getting shin splints.

I have found that audio books help me keep track.

Hope everyone has a great weekend.

Beginning of day #3

I have found that I <3 <3 audio books. I have found that they are wonderful. My family usually listened to them on long road trips. I enjoy listening to them when walking at the park.

Yesterday I walked for 25 minutes and had walked 1.33 miles. It was nice. Weather was perfect.

Eating is going okay. Not 100% perfect but I am learning. Clean eating is hard at first but a great learning time.

Hope everyone has a great day.

30 days of...

Clean eating...yep that is my first challenge. I randomly selected that one out of a jar.

If I lose some weight/inches will be a plus. But I am also journaling in a cute notebook. 

My food, thoughts, and what ever else pops into my head.

I will also be posting on here as well. Hoped everyone remembered to fall back an hour.

Day #idont know

It seems I have fell off the face of the earth....it also seems like I am going around in circles. I am so confused ....anxiety.... Panic attacks....depression. I just want to crawl into my little hole and disappear for a while.


I will try to continue with my Pilates program and start over with day 1 tomorrow. As they say ...get back on the horse that threw you.

I never really understood that...if anyone has ever suffered from anxiety, panic attacks, or depression... I don't think they would be saying suck it up buttercup. We know life is hard but I believe that it helps for me to write my feelings out to who ever sees and just maybe I will be a help to just one person. So from now on I am only doing one 30 day challenge at a time. I think that was part of my issue I was trying to do too much at one time.

For instance ibwas doing 30 days of clean eating, 30 days of Pilates, 30 days of no caffeine... All in the same thirty days.

Crazy... I know I sound crazy but it really helps to write this all down


Bye