Word of advice...don't mix coffee and Prednisolne...very bad idea

So I have been AWOL for a while and I want to get back in the rhythm of things.

I was put on some Prednisolne for some inflammation in my lower back {I have mild scoliosis} . So then I am having to take it in step down dosage. The directions say take it morning and night with meals...

Well the other night I took it at about 930 pm and then had some coffee...not realizing how late it was. I normally take it about 6ish with my dinner.

OMG...at about 130 am I woke up wired...I'm not talking a little I am talking "Hammy" the squirrel wired.

I will never do that again. I got up and read for a few hours then went back to take a nap before I had to head to work. I know I could have cleaned the house done laundry...but I had a few hours of quite...yes uninterrupted quite so i grabbed it will both hands.

Have a great day everyone.

Gym workouts...and time change {very old post...forgot to post lol}

So I have been going to the gym 5-6 days a week. I have only lost a pound. I generally workout for about 45 minutes. I have been trying to stay to my diet plan. Key word is trying...their are some days that it is super hard. Which is mainly clean eating.

I love the way I feel now... I am waking up about an hour before my alarm. I love the fact that I have so much energy most of the time. I am sleeping way better now {all through the night}.

Before the time change no one was in the gym with me and my SIL. We could workout for 45 to an hour and there wouldn't be anyone... but now we can go at the same time and it is full... I understand it is getting darker now and that is why but I don't like it at all.  I like being able to turn my music up when now one is there and blare it...but now I have to plug in my earbuds and still go workout.

Time change is okay because we "gain" an hour of sleep. But do we really?

What is your thoughts on time change?

Falling off the wagon...again...need will power.

I need will power...tons of will power.

The will power to stay on track for my rules and fitness goals.

The will power to say no to doughnuts and candies.

The will power...just tons of will power.

Everything that I am doing so far has been free...so I am going to sign up at our local gym...wondering if I am having to pay for something if I will stick to it.

Plan is to work out at least an hour a day five/six days a week.

Going to wonder pinterest for a while to see if I can find any beginner gym work outs...I have to have a list and a plan for this to work

Will power...will power...will power

Dreaded budget...oh how I despise thee

Well...we have decided that we need to start saving some money...just like everyone else...I have using a combination of several different methods and seeing which one works best for us. Most of our bills are the same every month...thank goodness. Then there are some that are not...so the ones that are not I am budgeting them as if they were and then putting the extra aside in an envelope to help when needed...sounds like a great idea we will see how that goes.

Our main reason for saving is to go on a great family vacation next year...Hawaii.  We have been once before we had our daughter and now we are wanting to go again.

So the game plan is to try and save about $400 a month.

The game plan with our checks is we are saying they are xxx amount and anything over that goes into a separate account that we don't hardly ever look at. So if we don't see it we don't have it theory.

So how do you guys save money?

Pinterest you have failed me...learn from my mistakes

So today was Day 1 in the new me...I love love I mean really love love coffee...with a passion. So I looked to pinterest from some coffee inspirations and this is what I found....credit to Family Fresh Meals. Looks wonderful!!! So dark and creamy looking.

Epic fail...super fail...never again...followed all the rules and tips and you still failed me. This is how mine turned out

It looked dark and creamy and oh so good. But I was wrong whey (lol) wrong. I have whey protein powder...maybe that was my mistake but never again will I mix my protein with my coffee. I could only gag about half of it down. I know a waste of a good cup of coffee...a perfectly good cup of coffee.

Any tips on how to make my protein shakes taste better would be greatly appreciated. And yes I will still look to pinterest for some more inspirations and some more fails.

Have a blessed day.

Day 1...wishing I could get lost looking out my kitchen window

This is the current view out my kitchen window...

as I am looking out the window and reflecting on God's word that I had read this morning and enjoying what little of His handy work {sunrise colors} that I can see...I realize that I have a choice in how I see everything. Today I read Matt 6: 25-33. "Do not worry" oh how I needed that today...I am an inside worrier...I might not vocalize all my fears and worries but they are eating me up inside. 

You can't really tell in the picture...but the sun was coming up and it had very faint lines of pale pink in the sky. Yes I realize some people don't get to enjoy a sunrise. I know about not seeing the glass half full always seeing it half empty. So I enjoyed the little glimpse of sunrise that I got to see this am while I was making my breakfast.

I will post later to my breakfast which comes from Pinterest.

Oktoberfest....major fail

Okay this post is a few weeks behind...we went to Oktoberfest  at the beginning of the month at a local church.

I had advertised "authentic" German food; games for kids; and great fun...well it was a major fail.

This is what they had for games for kids:

Yep you got it one little cut out. No games. At all...nothing. So after we ate our meal {which was very disappointing as well}. I had major issues for a few days after my meal. 

This was the second Oktoberfest that I had been to and I will not go to another one again. The sad thing was that the kids had more fun after we left then when we where there.

Needless to say...all that matters is the kids happiness. 

Life has got in the way

You ever have one of those days where nothing goes right...and I mean nothing...absolutely NOTHING!!! That is how my life has been for at least two weeks. It has been horrible. 

Yes I let myself get depressed...maybe shouldn't say let myself...because if it was a choice no one and I mean no one would choose to be depressed.

Depression is a horrible feeling...I'm not talking like I need a pity party feeling...I'm talking about feeling like every little thing is closing in on you and you can do nothing to stop it...it was a daily struggle for a while to just get out of my bed to get myself ready for work and my daughter for school. I know part of my depression issues is my own self image that I have of myself. 

I'm really not sure what started it or what ended it but I am so glad that I am finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

I will be trying to post everyday about my new exercise/diet plan I am going to be starting on Sunday, October 19th. I can make a penny scream. I hate to spend on gimmicks or what I think are going to be gimmicks. So I have done tons and tons of research to find something I might stick with...and the answer is...I am going to be taking the main principles of 21 day fix {portion control} and use Cassie at blogilates her beginners calender for POP Pilates. 

I have also got me a food journal {binder} with 7 weeks set up in it. I have an food list and size of portions...place to mark off what portions I have ate with each meal...prayers & bible study part....and a copy of the work out calendar so when I log on to YouTube on my smart tv I can hopefully find everything pretty quick.

I am hoping that this idea that I have will help change me from the inside out...because I don't like looking and feeling the way I do.

Please share some of your tips for weight lost if you want

Always in a hurry

 This is my new goal...after a mini breakdown and pity party...I have to learn to slow down. Yes I have lots of stuff going on in my life but I also need to enjoy stuff for me...before I have a stroke or something.

I can't even enjoy food anymore...it seems like all I do is hurry up and put it on the table to hurry up and eat it...just to move on to the next item.

So the new rule is to slow down and enjoy everything...I want to enjoy the sunrise/sunset with my family.  I want to enjoy cooking a meal again. And then enjoy eating it.

I am sick of hurry hurry hurry. So my new goal is lists for each day on stuff that has to been done...not stuff that I want to be done.

Because one of the thoughts that was running through my head was that it would be easier to walk away and start over then to stay and work anything out.  But then I realized that if I walk away that would not solve anything for me.

I'm gonna have to step back and recharge for a while...I am going to deal with what is on my plate and not add anything else.

I know I am not taking any use of my own advice...I am hoping that change is coming soon for me.

Your thoughts and prayers are greatly needed at this time...as it feels like I am drowning.

Depression...many different kinds?

Depression...how many different kinds are there???? I often wonder ...depression can affect peope in many different ways.

I am just unhappy about many things...life in general-marriage, family, work. It seems that I am one of these people that can not say no...my life is so packed. My husband & I both work 6 days a week every other week; I am co-leader of our local girl scout troop; my husband is a co-leader of our churches children ministries; our daughter plays soccer & softball; she also is in two different church children's groups; my husband & I both are in adult bible studies at our church.

It seems like there is never enough time....I know that there is only 24 hrs in a day and how  I choose to use them is up to me.

I depise cleaning...I mean I really don't like it...I can think of thousands of things I would rather be doing than cleaning.

I love watching tv and reading and cooking...oh how I love to cook...there are times my job is so stressful...and each one of these ways is a way for me to relax. And I can relax for hours on end.

Don't get me wrong about my marriage...I love my husband but it seems that we are two passing people...yes we both work day shift jobs...so we are home at night but generally only talk about what is going on the day or how good/bad our days at work were.

Family...I really love our daughter...but there are times she drives me up a wall and can make me crazy...I'm not talking a little crazy but a lot. She is 8 thinking she is 30. I know that it is only going to get worse...as the time goes on.

My mood swings are horrible...I can be sane and then just snap...I have tried medication at the lowest dose and most of the time they make me where I don't feel a thing...I mean nothing...no happiness; no sadness...nothing.

And as you can tell from my posts... my mind is ADD.  I really like this:

Wasting time???

I have been feeling under the weather...there has been a massive nasty stomach bug going around. So to get over it I have been reading and watching Netflix...oh how I love you Netflix. I have started watching Once Upon a Time...I love it so far but I am only on episode 5. This is my game plan for today...watch a episode and then start some laundry/clean/cook...then watch an episode...yep getting loads done.


Now tomorrow I don't believe that I have to get anything done...besides ton of homework for by Beth Moore bible study class....yep let's see how far that will get...I'm betting not very far very fast...I love watching tv and reading

Oh how I love to waste time. What is the show that you love to mainline on netflix? I am always looking for new shows to watch once the tv season ends in May.

I am lost...

Yes I am lost... so very lost. I see stuff like this...  and often go...it must be nice to have that kind of relationship still. Yes, I stay still. I have been holding so much anger and I thought that I had let it go until a few weeks ago and I realized that I had not. That is a tough blow to handle. I can honestly say that anger {with yourself or others} can slowly kill you inside. I thought that I had let this anger go about 7 years ago..yes that long ago. I know it was the devil speaking  when I let it's ugly face of anger show up in my life.

I have neglected by church family, my relationship with God, my responsibilities that I have signed up, friends that mean well, my job, and for what... for all for anger.

As I am writing this I can feel a sadness inside of me waiting to break...but I feel like I am the only one at times that goes through this... and I know that I am not the only one out there...because I see people every day that are angry ... with someone, with life, themselves, their children/spouse. Please give the anger away....don't' give into it.

I have let my anger control me for way to long and it has got to stop...today is new day and I will change my way of thinking.

Please you don't have to be angry... there is so much more to life then being angry all the time.  I'm not saying that being a Christian is easy...but it is nice knowing that when you fail you are loved and He will comfort you and make you whole again.

If you don't have a personal relationship with God/Jesus Christ than please accept Him into your heart and find a church family/friends who will help you grow in your daily walk with Him.

Of this world

Songs are speaking to me right now...it is so bad that I have them in my head when I first wake up. I have not been having a good attitude the last few days...I am coming down with a cold and I am cranky...super cranky. I hate being sick...yes I hate it.

It is fall I want to cook great food, enjoy watching hs football, and then curl up with a good book and some hot tea...but when I am sick it seems like nothing goes as plan and the anger just seems to unleash at the drop of a hat. I unleashed on M, who thinks she is 18 when she is only 8...I know that it is going to get worse and I just pray for guidence for this issue.  

~ My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,  because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.  Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you. ~ James 1:19-21

Greater by Mercy Me ...is the song that I woke up with this am. Nice upbeat song to start the day.

~ You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world. ~ 1 John 4:4

So we will see how this day goes...but I can say this is a wonderful feeling knowing that everyday we can start fresh and that we are loved. 

I don't need my name in lights

I love the song "He Knows My Name" by Francesca Battistelli.  It was on yesterday and it hit me hard.

We all want to hear "You do a great job". We all want praise of some kind...do we need our name in lights to see that we are doing a good job?  Well this is what I want to hear..."His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come & share your master's happiness'". ~ Matthew 25: 21 NIV

Have I been faithful with what has been given to me?  Job, family, finances, church family, girl scout troop, and so on {in no order of preferences}.

1. Job: Then it hit me do I really work at my job for my boss to say well done?  I know that I am not the only one that does these things...scrolling through facebook- when I should be working {it was only a suppose to be a few minutes but turned into twenty}. We texted a friend the night before and they still haven't gotten back with you so you are "glued to your phone".  "Slaves obey your early masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to curry their favor, but with sincerity of heat and reverence for the Lord. Whatever you do, work at it with all you heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving, Anyone who does wrong will be repaid for their wrongs, and there is no favoritism." ~Colossians 3: 22-25
2. Family: Proverbs 31:10-31 really speaks to me...Am I doing enough to earn my husband & daughter's praise? 
3. Finances: eww that is a tough one.,,I really mean that. I know that I am irresponsible with that one..Eccl 5:10, 1 Tim 6:6-10, and many more.

These are just notes for me but if you find help in my words...that is great. If you want to leave comments on how you "manage your time" that would be a great help for me. 

I have thought about blogging this all night last night. Have a great day.

Organized chaos...that is what I like to think of as my life

As I am sitting here after church I realize that my life is organized chaos...or maybe just chaos.  I like to think that it is organized but is not even close. I know that everyone has one of those rooms in your house that you shove everything you don't need at that minute into...mine is yelling no screaming no begging to be cleaned up....so here it goes. Maybe not just the room needs cleaned up but maybe my life as well. Oh yes I know that my life needs to be cleaned and straighten up as well but I don't know where to start {if that makes any since at all}.

I can spend hours a day {and I'm not joking about this} reading a good book or just mainlining Netflix. I realize that is time that I could be doing something else...cleaning house, laundry, taking pictures, being with my daughter...but I work a very public job and I love time to myself at times {don't we all}. N & M are great because they both know once I retreat into my bedroom with the door shut they are to leave me alone. I guess writing that out makes me realize that I am super lazy and they just really haven't said anything about it. So here it goes change #1 starting today...only and hour a night can be spent reading {wow that will save me tons of calories...I love to snack while I read...and I mean ... just like yesterday I finished off a box of Cheez its...not a few crackers but like half the box}.

See what I mean I need order in my life...just to help control the fact that I shouldn't be so lazy.
Just maybe this one change can lead to others...that is my one light at the end of the tunnel...that there has to be other people out there just like me....they need order and change in their life...well that starts now for me...okay maybe in a few minutes. One change at a time because if I try everything that pops into my little mind at once we would all be doomed...or at least me in a straight jacket.

Feel free to leave your thoughts and comments...would love to read them.

No excuses...for anything.

I have tons of excuses for everyday life...and I mean tons.

~don't want to exercise.... because "I" don't have the time {I'm sure that is one for everyone}....problem solved... I walk in the evenings with the sil C or one of my best friends J or watch/follow along on youtube with Cassie @ blogilates. She is amazing. She posts calendars every month { you can print them off and mark them once your done.
~don't have tons of time to study the Bible...problem solved...if you have fifteen minutes for morning coffee make that your study/alone time with God {new one for me}, joined a women's Bible study @ our local church {UMC}that is held about the same time as our daughters Awana meeting. Right now we are doing Beth Moore's James :Mercy Triumphs {N drops her off so I can make it in time for my Bible study & then I pick her up after mine (roughly an hour & half later--hers is an hour & forty-five minutes)
~ I'm depressed...because of my overall health...problem not so easy to solve...I am an emotional eater..happy, sad, angry, and most of the time just because. This is a a hard one for me {as I am sure this is for a lot of people}. I have a very supporting family. THANK GOODNESS FOR THAT ONE!!!
~ I don't have time to do that...because of whatever reason...really everyone has 24 hrs in a day... how you chose to spend those 24 hours is up to each and everyone of you...don't let that little judgmental voice in your head get to you...because you are loved by many people.

And remember everything takes time...nothing is changed over night....small changes...it takes 21 days to make of break a habit. And I have plenty of those.

Thanks for reading my ramblings.

*****"I will sing of the Lord's great love forever; with my mouth I will make your faithfulness known through all generations"  Psalm 89:1*****