Falling off the wagon...again...need will power.

I need will power...tons of will power.

The will power to stay on track for my rules and fitness goals.

The will power to say no to doughnuts and candies.

The will power...just tons of will power.

Everything that I am doing so far has been free...so I am going to sign up at our local gym...wondering if I am having to pay for something if I will stick to it.

Plan is to work out at least an hour a day five/six days a week.

Going to wonder pinterest for a while to see if I can find any beginner gym work outs...I have to have a list and a plan for this to work

Will power...will power...will power

Dreaded budget...oh how I despise thee

Well...we have decided that we need to start saving some money...just like everyone else...I have using a combination of several different methods and seeing which one works best for us. Most of our bills are the same every month...thank goodness. Then there are some that are not...so the ones that are not I am budgeting them as if they were and then putting the extra aside in an envelope to help when needed...sounds like a great idea we will see how that goes.

Our main reason for saving is to go on a great family vacation next year...Hawaii.  We have been once before we had our daughter and now we are wanting to go again.

So the game plan is to try and save about $400 a month.

The game plan with our checks is we are saying they are xxx amount and anything over that goes into a separate account that we don't hardly ever look at. So if we don't see it we don't have it theory.

So how do you guys save money?

Pinterest you have failed me...learn from my mistakes

So today was Day 1 in the new me...I love love I mean really love love coffee...with a passion. So I looked to pinterest from some coffee inspirations and this is what I found....credit to Family Fresh Meals. Looks wonderful!!! So dark and creamy looking.

Epic fail...super fail...never again...followed all the rules and tips and you still failed me. This is how mine turned out

It looked dark and creamy and oh so good. But I was wrong whey (lol) wrong. I have whey protein powder...maybe that was my mistake but never again will I mix my protein with my coffee. I could only gag about half of it down. I know a waste of a good cup of coffee...a perfectly good cup of coffee.

Any tips on how to make my protein shakes taste better would be greatly appreciated. And yes I will still look to pinterest for some more inspirations and some more fails.

Have a blessed day.

Day 1...wishing I could get lost looking out my kitchen window

This is the current view out my kitchen window...

as I am looking out the window and reflecting on God's word that I had read this morning and enjoying what little of His handy work {sunrise colors} that I can see...I realize that I have a choice in how I see everything. Today I read Matt 6: 25-33. "Do not worry" oh how I needed that today...I am an inside worrier...I might not vocalize all my fears and worries but they are eating me up inside. 

You can't really tell in the picture...but the sun was coming up and it had very faint lines of pale pink in the sky. Yes I realize some people don't get to enjoy a sunrise. I know about not seeing the glass half full always seeing it half empty. So I enjoyed the little glimpse of sunrise that I got to see this am while I was making my breakfast.

I will post later to my breakfast which comes from Pinterest.

Oktoberfest....major fail

Okay this post is a few weeks behind...we went to Oktoberfest  at the beginning of the month at a local church.

I had advertised "authentic" German food; games for kids; and great fun...well it was a major fail.

This is what they had for games for kids:

Yep you got it one little cut out. No games. At all...nothing. So after we ate our meal {which was very disappointing as well}. I had major issues for a few days after my meal. 

This was the second Oktoberfest that I had been to and I will not go to another one again. The sad thing was that the kids had more fun after we left then when we where there.

Needless to say...all that matters is the kids happiness. 

Life has got in the way

You ever have one of those days where nothing goes right...and I mean nothing...absolutely NOTHING!!! That is how my life has been for at least two weeks. It has been horrible. 

Yes I let myself get depressed...maybe shouldn't say let myself...because if it was a choice no one and I mean no one would choose to be depressed.

Depression is a horrible feeling...I'm not talking like I need a pity party feeling...I'm talking about feeling like every little thing is closing in on you and you can do nothing to stop it...it was a daily struggle for a while to just get out of my bed to get myself ready for work and my daughter for school. I know part of my depression issues is my own self image that I have of myself. 

I'm really not sure what started it or what ended it but I am so glad that I am finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

I will be trying to post everyday about my new exercise/diet plan I am going to be starting on Sunday, October 19th. I can make a penny scream. I hate to spend on gimmicks or what I think are going to be gimmicks. So I have done tons and tons of research to find something I might stick with...and the answer is...I am going to be taking the main principles of 21 day fix {portion control} and use Cassie at blogilates her beginners calender for POP Pilates. 

I have also got me a food journal {binder} with 7 weeks set up in it. I have an food list and size of portions...place to mark off what portions I have ate with each meal...prayers & bible study part....and a copy of the work out calendar so when I log on to YouTube on my smart tv I can hopefully find everything pretty quick.

I am hoping that this idea that I have will help change me from the inside out...because I don't like looking and feeling the way I do.

Please share some of your tips for weight lost if you want

Always in a hurry

 This is my new goal...after a mini breakdown and pity party...I have to learn to slow down. Yes I have lots of stuff going on in my life but I also need to enjoy stuff for me...before I have a stroke or something.

I can't even enjoy food anymore...it seems like all I do is hurry up and put it on the table to hurry up and eat it...just to move on to the next item.

So the new rule is to slow down and enjoy everything...I want to enjoy the sunrise/sunset with my family.  I want to enjoy cooking a meal again. And then enjoy eating it.

I am sick of hurry hurry hurry. So my new goal is lists for each day on stuff that has to been done...not stuff that I want to be done.

Because one of the thoughts that was running through my head was that it would be easier to walk away and start over then to stay and work anything out.  But then I realized that if I walk away that would not solve anything for me.

I'm gonna have to step back and recharge for a while...I am going to deal with what is on my plate and not add anything else.

I know I am not taking any use of my own advice...I am hoping that change is coming soon for me.

Your thoughts and prayers are greatly needed at this time...as it feels like I am drowning.

Depression...many different kinds?

Depression...how many different kinds are there???? I often wonder ...depression can affect peope in many different ways.

I am just unhappy about many things...life in general-marriage, family, work. It seems that I am one of these people that can not say no...my life is so packed. My husband & I both work 6 days a week every other week; I am co-leader of our local girl scout troop; my husband is a co-leader of our churches children ministries; our daughter plays soccer & softball; she also is in two different church children's groups; my husband & I both are in adult bible studies at our church.

It seems like there is never enough time....I know that there is only 24 hrs in a day and how  I choose to use them is up to me.

I depise cleaning...I mean I really don't like it...I can think of thousands of things I would rather be doing than cleaning.

I love watching tv and reading and cooking...oh how I love to cook...there are times my job is so stressful...and each one of these ways is a way for me to relax. And I can relax for hours on end.

Don't get me wrong about my marriage...I love my husband but it seems that we are two passing people...yes we both work day shift jobs...so we are home at night but generally only talk about what is going on the day or how good/bad our days at work were.

Family...I really love our daughter...but there are times she drives me up a wall and can make me crazy...I'm not talking a little crazy but a lot. She is 8 thinking she is 30. I know that it is only going to get worse...as the time goes on.

My mood swings are horrible...I can be sane and then just snap...I have tried medication at the lowest dose and most of the time they make me where I don't feel a thing...I mean nothing...no happiness; no sadness...nothing.

And as you can tell from my posts... my mind is ADD.  I really like this: