Wasting time???

I have been feeling under the weather...there has been a massive nasty stomach bug going around. So to get over it I have been reading and watching Netflix...oh how I love you Netflix. I have started watching Once Upon a Time...I love it so far but I am only on episode 5. This is my game plan for today...watch a episode and then start some laundry/clean/cook...then watch an episode...yep getting loads done.


Now tomorrow I don't believe that I have to get anything done...besides ton of homework for by Beth Moore bible study class....yep let's see how far that will get...I'm betting not very far very fast...I love watching tv and reading

Oh how I love to waste time. What is the show that you love to mainline on netflix? I am always looking for new shows to watch once the tv season ends in May.

I am lost...

Yes I am lost... so very lost. I see stuff like this...  and often go...it must be nice to have that kind of relationship still. Yes, I stay still. I have been holding so much anger and I thought that I had let it go until a few weeks ago and I realized that I had not. That is a tough blow to handle. I can honestly say that anger {with yourself or others} can slowly kill you inside. I thought that I had let this anger go about 7 years ago..yes that long ago. I know it was the devil speaking  when I let it's ugly face of anger show up in my life.

I have neglected by church family, my relationship with God, my responsibilities that I have signed up, friends that mean well, my job, and for what... for all for anger.

As I am writing this I can feel a sadness inside of me waiting to break...but I feel like I am the only one at times that goes through this... and I know that I am not the only one out there...because I see people every day that are angry ... with someone, with life, themselves, their children/spouse. Please give the anger away....don't' give into it.

I have let my anger control me for way to long and it has got to stop...today is new day and I will change my way of thinking.

Please you don't have to be angry... there is so much more to life then being angry all the time.  I'm not saying that being a Christian is easy...but it is nice knowing that when you fail you are loved and He will comfort you and make you whole again.

If you don't have a personal relationship with God/Jesus Christ than please accept Him into your heart and find a church family/friends who will help you grow in your daily walk with Him.

Of this world

Songs are speaking to me right now...it is so bad that I have them in my head when I first wake up. I have not been having a good attitude the last few days...I am coming down with a cold and I am cranky...super cranky. I hate being sick...yes I hate it.

It is fall I want to cook great food, enjoy watching hs football, and then curl up with a good book and some hot tea...but when I am sick it seems like nothing goes as plan and the anger just seems to unleash at the drop of a hat. I unleashed on M, who thinks she is 18 when she is only 8...I know that it is going to get worse and I just pray for guidence for this issue.  

~ My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,  because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.  Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you. ~ James 1:19-21

Greater by Mercy Me ...is the song that I woke up with this am. Nice upbeat song to start the day.

~ You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world. ~ 1 John 4:4

So we will see how this day goes...but I can say this is a wonderful feeling knowing that everyday we can start fresh and that we are loved. 

I don't need my name in lights

I love the song "He Knows My Name" by Francesca Battistelli.  It was on yesterday and it hit me hard.

We all want to hear "You do a great job". We all want praise of some kind...do we need our name in lights to see that we are doing a good job?  Well this is what I want to hear..."His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come & share your master's happiness'". ~ Matthew 25: 21 NIV

Have I been faithful with what has been given to me?  Job, family, finances, church family, girl scout troop, and so on {in no order of preferences}.

1. Job: Then it hit me do I really work at my job for my boss to say well done?  I know that I am not the only one that does these things...scrolling through facebook- when I should be working {it was only a suppose to be a few minutes but turned into twenty}. We texted a friend the night before and they still haven't gotten back with you so you are "glued to your phone".  "Slaves obey your early masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to curry their favor, but with sincerity of heat and reverence for the Lord. Whatever you do, work at it with all you heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving, Anyone who does wrong will be repaid for their wrongs, and there is no favoritism." ~Colossians 3: 22-25
2. Family: Proverbs 31:10-31 really speaks to me...Am I doing enough to earn my husband & daughter's praise? 
3. Finances: eww that is a tough one.,,I really mean that. I know that I am irresponsible with that one..Eccl 5:10, 1 Tim 6:6-10, and many more.

These are just notes for me but if you find help in my words...that is great. If you want to leave comments on how you "manage your time" that would be a great help for me. 

I have thought about blogging this all night last night. Have a great day.

Organized chaos...that is what I like to think of as my life

As I am sitting here after church I realize that my life is organized chaos...or maybe just chaos.  I like to think that it is organized but is not even close. I know that everyone has one of those rooms in your house that you shove everything you don't need at that minute into...mine is yelling no screaming no begging to be cleaned up....so here it goes. Maybe not just the room needs cleaned up but maybe my life as well. Oh yes I know that my life needs to be cleaned and straighten up as well but I don't know where to start {if that makes any since at all}.

I can spend hours a day {and I'm not joking about this} reading a good book or just mainlining Netflix. I realize that is time that I could be doing something else...cleaning house, laundry, taking pictures, being with my daughter...but I work a very public job and I love time to myself at times {don't we all}. N & M are great because they both know once I retreat into my bedroom with the door shut they are to leave me alone. I guess writing that out makes me realize that I am super lazy and they just really haven't said anything about it. So here it goes change #1 starting today...only and hour a night can be spent reading {wow that will save me tons of calories...I love to snack while I read...and I mean ... just like yesterday I finished off a box of Cheez its...not a few crackers but like half the box}.

See what I mean I need order in my life...just to help control the fact that I shouldn't be so lazy.
Just maybe this one change can lead to others...that is my one light at the end of the tunnel...that there has to be other people out there just like me....they need order and change in their life...well that starts now for me...okay maybe in a few minutes. One change at a time because if I try everything that pops into my little mind at once we would all be doomed...or at least me in a straight jacket.

Feel free to leave your thoughts and comments...would love to read them.

No excuses...for anything.

I have tons of excuses for everyday life...and I mean tons.

~don't want to exercise.... because "I" don't have the time {I'm sure that is one for everyone}....problem solved... I walk in the evenings with the sil C or one of my best friends J or watch/follow along on youtube with Cassie @ blogilates. She is amazing. She posts calendars every month { you can print them off and mark them once your done.
~don't have tons of time to study the Bible...problem solved...if you have fifteen minutes for morning coffee make that your study/alone time with God {new one for me}, joined a women's Bible study @ our local church {UMC}that is held about the same time as our daughters Awana meeting. Right now we are doing Beth Moore's James :Mercy Triumphs {N drops her off so I can make it in time for my Bible study & then I pick her up after mine (roughly an hour & half later--hers is an hour & forty-five minutes)
~ I'm depressed...because of my overall health...problem not so easy to solve...I am an emotional eater..happy, sad, angry, and most of the time just because. This is a a hard one for me {as I am sure this is for a lot of people}. I have a very supporting family. THANK GOODNESS FOR THAT ONE!!!
~ I don't have time to do that...because of whatever reason...really everyone has 24 hrs in a day... how you chose to spend those 24 hours is up to each and everyone of you...don't let that little judgmental voice in your head get to you...because you are loved by many people.

And remember everything takes time...nothing is changed over night....small changes...it takes 21 days to make of break a habit. And I have plenty of those.

Thanks for reading my ramblings.

*****"I will sing of the Lord's great love forever; with my mouth I will make your faithfulness known through all generations"  Psalm 89:1*****